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Surrogacy

Two Sides of The Surrogacy Debate

A few days ago, The Washington Post published an op-ed written by Kathleen Parker entitled “Surrogacy Exposed.” The article addressed surrogacy as a selfish, profit-driven and improper act. The next day, a counter response written by Judith Sperling-Norton entitled “Surrogacy Should Be Regulated, Not Banned” was published. Since I believe it is important to read both sides of the argument, I have included both articles below. Please feel free to leave comments with your response.

Anti-Surrogacy

Women’s reproductive rights have enjoyed a half-century or so of well-defined proponents and opponents, but the recently flourishing fertility industry, from egg harvesting to surrogacy, has produced fresh and surprising alliances among former foes.

Feminists, traditionalists, Catholics, evangelicals, ethicists and atheists alike have united to combat what many convincingly view as the exploitation and commodification of women and the violation of human rights even as perfect babies and happy families are formed.

Speaking of quagmires.

Latest to the arena is Louisiana, where a pro-surrogacy bill creating a regulatory structure for surrogate parenting passed both legislative houses with few dissenting votes and now faces a possible veto by Gov. Bobby Jindal (R). A thumbs-down from Jindal would constitute an act of principled courage, given widespread public support and lobbying efforts that have included the prominent display of two beautiful, surrogate-produced children born of the bill’s chief author, state Sen. Gary Smith.

During his push for the bill, Smith brought his children to the statehouse and circulated photographs of the two.

Whatever one may feel about Smith’s happy family, “feel” being the operative term, one should also be aware that not all surrogacy stories are so pretty. There is a dark underbelly to the surrogacy industry — and it is a business — including a burgeoning industry that preys on vulnerable women, commodifying them as “ovens,” a term Smith himself used. Never mind repercussions for the children themselves, who may have as many as five “parents,” from the egg and sperm donors, to the woman who carries them to the couple or single parent who adopts them.

It isn’t necessary to demonize anyone here. It is only fair to assume that people who want a child this much are good people with the wherewithal to make dreams come true. The women who carry others’ babies to term may be acting out of a sense of service or altruism, but the financial incentive can’t be ignored. Surrogacy brokers are wise to their marketplace and specifically target populations that are likely to be attracted to surrogacy. Almost half the surrogates in this country are military wives, according to Kathy Sloan, a National Organization for Women board member and surrogacy opponent.

Though laws, where they exist, vary from state to state, advertising in military periodicals and elsewhere lists requirements that the woman must already be a mom and thus know the ropes, as well as be a proven breeder. She must be willing to stay in place until the baby is born and, of course, surrender rights to the child. Although the woman is paid between $25,000 and $50,000 for her surrogacy, the language of most legislation speaks only to “living expenses” and coverage of medical bills. Most allow for termination of pregnancy should some abnormality be discovered pre-term.

In one such case in Connecticut where a fetus was shown to have abnormalities, the surrogate was offered $10,000 to abort. She declined. Because state law clearly identified the “purchasers” as the parents, the surrogate moved to another state, had the baby and placed her in an adoptive home.

The simplicity of the human desire for children notwithstanding, there’s nothing simple about the surrogacy business — and we haven’t scraped the surface of the metaphysical, spiritual, emotional and psychological issues with which a brief flirtation evokes mind-twisting complexities. Physical concerns, meanwhile, are plentiful.

This obviously is rich territory for pro-life crusaders for whom compromise on embryos is impossible, but NOW’s Sloan, a pro-choice activist, shares no such concerns. She sees surrogacy only as the exploitation of vulnerable women. She also sees a variety of class and race issues at play. The rich take advantage of the poor for designer babies, Caucasian features for carrier preferred.

The United States is second only to India in providing surrogates, according to Sloan, who also works with the United Nations on human rights. But even India, where some women are warehoused for nine months and forbidden to leave during the pregnancy, recently has set limits on surrogacy. Here in America, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) recently vetoed a bill similar to Louisiana’s upon learning the darker details behind the family portraits.

While no one wishes to cause pain to people who, for whatever reason, can’t have a child on their own, there are more compelling principles and consequences in play. Human babies are not things; their mothers are not ovens. But bartering and selling babies-to-order sure make them seem that way. By turning the miracle of life into a profit-driven, state-regulated industry, the stork begins to resemble a vulture.


Pro-Surrogacy

I was dismayed by the paternalistic assumptions Kathleen Parker presented in her May 26 op-ed column, “Wombs for rent.” It was disappointing to see the “women are being exploited” arguments surfacing again, decades after they were first used by anti-surrogacy groups against developments in assisted-reproduction technology.

Contained in that misconception is the notion that women are too ignorant, ill-informed or otherwise unable to make rational decisions to be surrogates and to use their minds and bodies to help those who cannot carry a fetus to term, such as, for example, women who have been struck by cancer or other disease. The truth is that the vast majority of women who choose to serve as surrogates are intelligent, well-educated and financially secure; they are caring individuals who want to help others in a unique and meaningful way.

Most surrogacy arrangements conclude happily with the birth of a healthy child and with all the participants feeling satisfied with the process and the outcome. Ms. Parker’s implication is nonsensical — surrogacy should not be banned; it should be regulated with reasonable medical and legal oversight.

Judith Sperling-Newton, Washington

The writer is director of the American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys.

 

Discussion

41 comments for “Two Sides of The Surrogacy Debate”

  • Kathy

    What else would you expect from an industry shill who financially benefits from surrogacy? Duh!!

  • Jennifer

    Paternalism began when Senator Smith in Louisiana (author of the surrogacy bill there) described the woman as ‘an oven’.

  • vgm8383

    I always find it amusing that those who rail the loudest against surrogacy are already parents. The irony about these sanctimonious, holier than thou surrogacy opponents living in the comfort of their glass houses are that they are among the first to turn to third-party reproduction when they are diagnosed with infertility themselves.

    • Kathy

      How could you possibly know whether or not opponents of contract pregnancy have children or not?! How ludicrous; when you have no credible argument, resort in desperation to fantasy.

      • Perhaps, Kathy, the commenter was referring to Kathleen Parker, the author of the Washington Post anti-surrogacy screed, who happens to be the mother of three sons according to her online bio. And, with all due respect, you have presented no empirical evidence to refute the point. In fact, the statistics support what the commenter said. According to a number of studies, approximately 87% of all American women will become mothers while 81% of all men will become fathers.

    • Jessica Kern

      I was conceived through surrogacy, and “rail loudly” against it. The concern withing this industry is for those who can make a profit through it, those who can buy what they want, and very little almost no consideration towards the people created through this technology. Consider that there are no home studies done to ensure that the children are going into safe homes. Although adoption is pricey there isn’t an assumption that possession of money equals a safe environment. Within the adoption community there is an acknowledgement that it’s a wound to the child to separate them from their biology. (i.e. books like Primal Wound) Whereas with surrogacy we’re intentionally typically splitting the child from one or both parents depending on whether your just using the surrogate or donor eggs, and then if you use donor sperm.
      The basis for the child’s existence from surrogacy, more often then not is Money, contracts, lawyers. This is not in the best interest of children.

    • heartprivacy

      In other words, surrogacy should be legal because it helps you get something you really, really want and nothing else matters.

  • Hannah

    I agree, that it’s easy to talk about how bad and unethical the surrogacy is, when you already have a kid. But if not? If you have been trying so hard and no results? Just because there is something wrong with your uterus and there is nothing doctors can do with it. What should I do?

    • Jessica Kern

      I might suggest finding blogs written by donor conceived people to see how they feel about it. You might be surprised to see that they have a voice out there saying it’s not right and they’re not ok with it.

      • Katie

        Please do me a favor and get your word out and try to put a stop to it as much as you can..for some reason, it’s incredibly disturbing to me to put a child through that, and I think it’s really important that people see that.

    • Alexis

      I’m also the result of surrogacy all because of my “parents” feeling it was their entitlement to create life. Rather typical of Western culture – no wonder the world is over populated. So in response to what you should do – how about either conceive the way nature intended or get a dog.

  • Femme against surrogacy

    Ban it. I am feminist a adoptive single-mom-by-choice with reproduction issues. I never chose surrogacy because it wasn’t fair to the babies or their moms. It may not have occurred to the general public but babies bond with their carriers and they have feelings and emotions about the issue too . They matter.

    • Katie

      Thank you for saying this. It really disturbs me how incapable people are of seeing that. I feel like no one really thinks about the impact it could have on the child, or how wrong it is to ask a woman to give you their child when there are SO MANY children that need adopted. I’m just referring to traditional surrogacy, of course…but I really don’t like the idea of either.

  • John Buzzanca

    I tend to agree with the ‘regulate, don’t ban’ position. And I speak from very first-hand experience. I was involved in a landmark California surrogacy case, In re: Buzzanca v Buzzanca. I have written a book entitled Not My Daughter. Like most things in life, there are negatives to go along with the positives. Unfortunately in my case, it was a negative, almost disastrous outcome. Nonetheless, I think there is a place in this world for surrogacy but it most definitely needs to be regulated. And strict regulations. You shouldn’t be able to buy a baby simply because you have the financial resources to do so. The guidelines should parallel the requirements to adopt a child. Strict background checks at least. I have no problem with normal couples turning to surrogacy to conceive. The technology has been developed but I also think it’s being abused.

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  • Dancer

    I think if
    you consider surrogacy, there are no other alternatives for you, of course
    except of adoption. Why is it so expensive? Some time ago I was ready to give
    everything for the opportunity to become a mother. Biologically I am not the
    child’s mother, I have no eggs and due to cancer and I lost my uterus. I had no
    variants. But my husband could be a father and give our child his genes. Since
    I am from Hungary, and surrogacy is illegal here, we started looking for
    variants abroad, here a cost varies greatly. We liked the proposal of BIOTEX
    clinic in Ukraine, I am not gonna get focused on it, but we found advantages
    for ourselves, especially considering the cost. After 1.5 years we became
    parents . And it is pricelessly.

  • Rosalia

    Surrogacy is salvation for many couples. I am sure surrogacy is necessary for couples that could not conceive. I against for traditional surrogacy but gestational surrogacy is ok. Unfortunately there are not so many options for surrogacy, only Ukraine, India and USA. Thailand is still not an option at all beacuse it is banned now, And there are so many negatives stories with surrogacy in Thailand.

    • Nicol

      I can say even more. India is just the same as Thaildan. Surrogate mothers and donors live in awful conditions and do not have proper medical examination. I have chosen Ukraine, And I even met Indian copuple in Biotexcom, clinic where I was treated.

    • Nicol

      Girls,I totally agree with you. USA is still not an option for everyone. Maybe it is an option for only wealthy people, because treatment is very expensive there.And not everyone can afford it. You should pay there more than 150 000 dollars. And when the baby is born it is automatically get the citizenship of USA. So it is more difficult to do documentation

    • Monica

      You can also for surrogacy in Georgia, I heard about nice personal and good conditions. But there is a low success rate. So I am not sure if there is a sense to try surrogacy in Georgia. Just to spend money and time without any result..

  • Bemby

    I don’t understand how people can judge concerning surrogacy. As I understand talking about this topic can only people who are involved. It is easy to tell cons when you have children. Fertile normal people cannot even imagine all troubles and tragedies infertile people meet. Can you imagine how you felt yourself without your children, sense of your life? We are ready for everything for only the possibility to have our own child. We can give all the money we have for possibility. When you don’t have children, you are a woman only for half. You try to judge us living your happy life with the full family of children. I overcame a lot of troubles. If you are interested I can share my story. Maybe after it you will become more tolerant. When I was young and got married, we started trying to conceive. By the way I can tell you that my husband loves children very much. And also before the marriage he told that he was ready for the children. So after wedding we started our attempts. We had been trying for near a year. I started to monitor google and tried with different methods to improve my fertility abilities. After a year we decided to contact our doctor. He said that we had to do some medical examinations. After it I learnt that I had uterine cancer. Believe me you even cannot imagine a little detail of my feelings. It was absolute desperation. I was completely upset. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want any treatments. Every day now I say sorry to my husband. He needed so many forces to push me out of this depression. Actually I was going to die. Instead of getting pregnant I was dying. I wasn’t ready for any treatment. But my husband prayed me every day to live for him. Only when he told me that he wouldn’t live without me. It pushed me out of the depression and made me doing something to overcome the cancer. I didn’t want to use chemotherapy. I realized that If I would live, anyway I could lose my uterus. But I didn’t have another choice. Finally they removed my uterus. I had 7 chemotherapies, so finally my ovaries stopped working. But after five years of complicated treatment, I was back to life. But there were no happy days. I still was ill half a woman. I still didn’t have children. And anyway near or far future there were no possibilities to have children. But one day my husband told that he didn’t stop looking for a solution and found surrogacy. It was illegal in our country. But we could go abroad. I knew that I cannot have biologically my children. But my husband still could. We had some money and decided to go in USA. Since we heard that in US there are gods of reproductive medicine. It is very expensive but it’s worth it. It was very difficult decision, but had to think quickly, cause we lost much time for cancer treatment and rehabilitation. We understood that we had very little chances for pregnancy. We made the first attempt in US. It was very expensive even for us. Unexpectedly we were very surprised with the final price for program. Moreover it was much more than first proposal. But we decided to go directly to our aim. In two words, we spent a lot of money and we were failed. You will think I am stupid(( But doctors and manager were very convincing and persuasive. So we decided not to change the place and go for the next attempt.They assured us that it would be successful attempt. We believed. We tried to have positive attitude despite of the fears. But unfortunately we had bad luck(( We paid one more time for second attempt. So finally we lost the money which was collected for my pregnancy. We were completely desperate(( We studied all the information about the countries where such program is conducted, pricing and so on. As a result, we decided in favor of Thailand. My husband and I thought that we have dreamed to visit this exotic place. And moreover surrogacy there can be fulfilled at an affordable price. Our couple is a common, average family. We do not have serious bank accounts and wealthy relatives. Therefore, we chose cheap variants. India and Thailand are one of the cheapest countries for the surrogate motherhood. With great hope and enthusiasm we went to the Thai clinic. There, we spent a lot of money, and even after 4 attempts we did not reach positive result. Doctors, of course, explained it with the specifics of such procedure, organism’s and embryo’s peculiarities and so on and so on. But a fat lot of good that will do us! We spent all our savings and went home without child. I want to say a few words concerning general impression regarding Thai clinic. In general, it could be seen rather weak organization of work. Surrogate mothers are not checked as must be. And their attitude towards the role they perform is rather specific and negative. They do not feel responsibility and care for the child they carry. All the time, we were accompanied by a feeling of uncertainty towards doctor’s actions, felt fear if all goes as it should be and if they really conduct real embryo transfer… In a word, Thailand was a horror for us. We spent all our money, had no result but only sense of despair and distrust of clinics for human reproduction. Returning home, during about a year we renovated our psychological condition and raised money for the next attempt. We also tried our luck in India and Georgia. India is an ideal variant in terms of price. But there the matter dropped! In the Infertility Clinic we even did not receive a contract where there would be spelled out all the rights and obligations of the parties. Health condition of surrogate mother did not meet accepted standards
    and norms. During the program, Indian surrogate mothers live in unsanitary conditions and do not care about the child inside them. In India, we could not receive even slightest guarantee that our baby will be
    healthy and without any deviations. As for Georgia, it met us with a great comfort, beauty and hospitality.
    In the New Life clinic we found none defects. There we found high level of medical treatment, European service, and attentiveness of staff to patients, good doctors. Everything was perfect but there was no result… In a word, being disappointed in three clinics, we realized that we just cannot financially be able to buy more than one attempt. But unexpectedly I saw the article about surrogacy in Ukraine. I know a lot about that country. Once I was there and I left that country in my heart. But I didn’t know that surrogacy in Ukraine is on the high level. I was surprised with the fact that reproductive medicine in Ukraine is very popular treatment, especially among foreigners. It was a sign)) We found a clinic. They proposed all inclusive package for very little price. For 29.900 they proposed unlimited attempts but only if a doctor allow it. We visited their doctor and she proposed me to do two attempts with donor eggs and then in case of failure we would continue to try with surrogate mother. We were very happy with it. Moreover everything foreigner can need was included in package. We were met with taxi driver. Clinic provided us with English speaking manager. Accommodation and meals, medications and treatment were also included in that one single price without any hidden fees like in US. We didn’t wait for a long time to be involved in program. It took a month. Manager invited us in Ukraine. That month they stimulated a donor. I don’t want to tell more details. Unfortunately I was failed again. But we tried to remain positive. We had one more attempt with donor eggs. In a month they invited us again. And I can tell you that I knew, I felt that I could by lucky. After second attempt we were pregnant with twins. I am so
    grateful to doctors, managers and all staff of Biotexcom clinic for my babies. Girls, don’t afraid to go in Ukraine. This is a great country with grate specialists. I completely agree with author of this article. Even nowadays Ukraine takes a leading position in surrogacy field. I think it is possible to compete with European countries. As for the age, I want to say that I was not the older woman, who practiced the donation in Biotexcom. They did successful donation for a woman after sixty. So don’t afraid! Age is not a reason anymore to remain childless.

    • heartprivacy

      Did you even read your own post? Me me me me me. It’s all about what YOU want, how YOU felt, what it meant to YOU.

      Not a single concern for this woman who carried your babies, who risked their health and lives to provide you with a child.

      You’re grateful to the doctors and managers and staff, but not to the woman who actually created your child with her body?

      You are EXACTLY why surrogacy should be banned. Because selfish, self-centered people like you care nothing about the women who are being exploited as rental wombs, only about your own feelings and desires.

  • Angel

    A life is very unfair to good people. Unworthy people, who leave their children, get pregnant again and again. Otherwise worthy people, who are going to give everything for their children, are very often infertile. I cannot understand such truth of the life. But surrogacy for them very often is the last option to have biological children. The same time you can tell about adoption, but for sure this process is also not so simple. Very often the process of adoption is failed. I cannot understand why surrogacy should be prohibited if due to this happy children are born. As for me I am sure that surrogacy saves a lot of
    lives. I am very happy that international courts and governments of different countries return to the issue of surrogacy regulation. And for sure such difficult process should be allowed. And the excellent news is that I have read article that international court recognized surrogacy. http://newseurope.info/video/surrogacy-a-form-of-planned-parenting-yet-to-win-eu-wide-acceptance/

  • Taylor

    Can anyone answer any of these questions:
    Are there any studies or evidence that shows the genetic link is so important traditional surrogacy should be banned?
    Studies or evidence that it hurts the child or is wrong for his biological mother to intentionally get pregnant with him for the purpose of letting someone else be his parents?
    How is paying a traditional surrogate for a child different that paying to adopt a child?

    • Katie

      The fact that it should feel incredibly morally and ethically wrong is reason enough.

    • heartprivacy

      Paying to adopt a child is illegal. Buying children is illegal. Surrogacy is a loophole to this.

  • Chris Laehn

    I have been reading a lot of arguments for and against surrogacy recently and I have yet to see one question asked that I think really should be: would fertility clinics even exist if their were no profit involved? Think about that long and hard and what that means.

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  • Prashanth Sunkari

    In most of the countries a surrogacy is legal and surrogacy treatment is very helpful to the couple that those who are unable to conceive the baby. In ukraine surrogacy treatment is legal and surrogacy clinic will provide best facilities with well experienced doctors in affordable cost.

    http://ukrainesurrogacycentre.com

  • Brahmaramba Karra

    In most of the countries a surrogacy is legal and surrogacy treatment is very helpful to the couple that those who are unable to conceive the baby. In ukraine surrogacy treatment is legal and surrogacy clinic will provide best facilities with well experienced doctors in affordable cost.

    http://ukrainesurrogacycentre.com

  • wakeupscreaming

    I just saw a picture of a surrogacy birth. The adoptive couple is being handed the baby, as the birth mother lies there, never to touch the child.
    It was very disturbing. These surrogate moms might be paid to have the child, but there must be some bonding that occurs that is ripped when this happens? Unless there is a personality type of women that volunteers for surrogacy that has no mother instinct or bonding relationship skills?
    The couple in the picture also happened to be a gay male couple. I’m gay, so I’m not here to pass judgement on that.
    But has anyone thought about the child that will grow up with no mother? Unforseen circumstances has always dealt people the unfortunate loss of a parent, but this is a deliberate and conscious action that deprives the child.

  • Magg

    Surrogacy is a good chance for infertile couples. There is anything bad in the fact that modern medicine try to help infertile people. Moreover countries that perform such procedures as surrogacy or egg donation act according to the local law. So there are no problems in this case. I think the only thing governments should do is to regulate these issues. In order to help as they can infertile but not prevent! And if country bans surrogacy or something else let it just ban fulfillment of these procedures on its territory. And if people conduct surrogacy abroad without violating laws of native country they must have the right come back home with their newborn and register him legally at home. Recently I have found interesting article http://newseurope.info/why-foreigners-from-all-over-the-world-travel-to-ukraine-for-surrogacy/

  • heartprivacy

    The majority of surrogates are financially secure? I’d like to see a source for that. I don’t believe it for one second.

  • Elaine

    List of accusations can go on endless. All of them are directed towards surrogate mothers and clinics which conduct such programs. But, its better get to know more about thing you are against. Surrogacy is a procedure that has been using since the biblical times and gains popularity in the 21st century. If you consider surrogacy to be immoral and inhuman maybe it’s only because you have never faced with infertility problem. And it is certainly good! After all, not all but just a few is able to withstand years of effort to become pregnant, suffering from depression and failed attempts, endless visits to the medical institutions, strong drugs and, ultimately, doctor throws up his hands and say that he can do anything… diagnose is infertility. Surrogacy is the only way to become biological parents for infertile couples who cannot conceive a child in a natural way. And there is nothing reprehensible in this situation. After all, we have nothing against a donor kidney for ill patient, prosthesis instead of amputated leg or artificial ceramic teeth. So why some people are so harsh and peremptory become ardent opponents of surrogate motherhood in the 21st century. After all, the question is not in the desire to keep a figure 90/60/90, and not a whim, caused by the presence of multi-million accounts. Infertility is a global problem that visits every fifth family, according to the world statistics. If it’s possible, infertile woman undergoes synchronization, take strong hormonal medications, and then goes through a painful puncture procedure, in order to give eggs for in vitro fertilization. Surrogate mothers are women who are worthy of respect and infinite gratitude. They give new life, make infertile people happy and help own families sometimes risking their health. Yes, surrogate mothers get paid for such service. What’s wrong with that? Visiting store you pay money to get food, when you want to organize a holiday for children you pay for the animators’ work, and you open the wallet once again when you go to the pharmacy, theater, shopping center and so on. In today’s modern world, almost all services are paid. So why services of a surrogate mother should be free? Many people would argue: “It is not correct to compare surrogacy with store visit! These are completely different things! “. Yes, these things are different but the core is the same – one person provides a service, the other one pays for it. And believe me, in spite of vigorous resistance and resentment by some society representatives, surrogacy, in the nearest future will be the same procedure as going to the dentist. Society has been developing, and the world moves forward. Community blocks with hostile attitude all new. For example, people not at once caught fancy of cashless payment. At first, people were afraid of cards and considered them to be uncomfortable. Therefore society preferred to keep real money in hands. Now, most people do not even have purses, but only a bank card in the pocket. The more human will become a human, the more he would tend to infinity and indestructible movement to the new.

  • Hanna

    I am a mother through surrogacy in Ukraine. There is a nice clinic with affordable prices. Don’t want to focus on clinic, but service there deserves to be mentioned. Despite our desire we were unsure about that Centre till we sit in a clinic’s car at the airport. We met nice stuff, well-educated specialists and really stunning surrogate mother. Our experience couldn’t have been better. And I am also a Christian and raising my son as a Christian. You may not believe in surrogacy, but you kind of have to – it exist. Before spouting vitriol speak to someone like me who actually knows what goes on with surrogacy. Come and meet our surrogate, out friend, who carried our baby in a foreign country. Take a look at how proud she is and what she has gone on to do. A gift like surrogacy, commercial or not, gives a lot of karmic brownie points in Hindu religion. Then again, some probably don’t “believe” that others can have different faiths to Christianity and also be right.

  • Molly

    Having a child / children is not going to change your current level of unhappiness. It will probably distract you quite a lot from your current state of mind, but you will find yourself in the same place nevertheless even after kids arrive. I realized that, and still wanted to raise my own child. So, two years ago I came to Kyiv, Ukraine with the last hope to have my own child. I was pregnant many years ago. But my husband fooled around. When I got to know everything, there was a long depression. That all resulted in internal bleeding. After following operation I was diagnosed infertility. Next years were the most difficult in my life. Four years ago I saw the article about the German woman. She gave birth to a child in her mid-sixties, after the procedure of IVF. I thought “I`m almost 10 years younger. In some months I left to Ukraine. Doctors were so attentive to me. I got pregnant after the third attempt. Even when I left after the procedure, they called me, asked about my health. My son is already 1.5 years. She is so clever and nice! And I`m glad that now I can devote all my time to him.

  • Evie

    So, a woman in her early 40s who wasn’t emotionally/financially stable for a child when she was 22 should not be a mother, but a girl at 20 who got drunk, had unprotected sex and got pregnant by some dude should me a mother, because she didn’t “wait”? Many of the women, who “wait”, wait not because they are too selfish as some put it. But because they are a deep sense of responsibility of what having a child means. And they decided not to have children born into an unstable relationship, with financial problems. Maybe some women were single for most of the time until later in their lives and didn’t think being a single mum was the best choice for them and the baby. I didn’t find a suitable partner/potential father of my children until 37, should I give up the prospect of motherhood because I “waited” for too long? I wonder what’s wrong with people who think like that. I used surrogate service in Kiev. Clinic offers acceptable price for all- inclusive package. And in case of failure clinics assured of returning money. But God blessed us with a baby. I was lucky to get pregnant after second attempt. I advised that clinic to my friend from support group. And to all who is in same situation as was I.

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